where to start. hmm. i'm waiting in the doctor's office for a follow-up appointment and there's a mom with her two little girls. i'm guessing 4 and 2. mom is heavily sighing for the wait to see the doctor is taking a long, long time. i empathize with her at first for i'm alone with no children and i've have been patiently waiting for what seems like forever. okay maybe i was not internally being patient. a few exclamations ran through my mind. like OMGosh it has been almost an hour and i have not made it through the golden doors to the exam room. maybe something like that.
<begin sidenote> thank goodness for my kindle. i swear i am addicted to young adult fiction. i can't seem to break the spell. currenty reading switched by amanda hocking. it's good thus far. <end sidenote>
back to mom and two girls in a waiting room. well, the girls were being children. really, nothing bad at all. they were bored. hello... remember the heavy sighing from mom. i refused to look up, but i heard an exclaim from mom... something about spitting... and it's gross. then she loudly begins to correct the child. the office waiting room is pretty full and the air becomes real tense.
what aggravated me the most about this situation, was the way she corrected her child. her tone. and her volume. and more importantly her inability to remove herself and her child to a more private area. my heart went out to this little girl. the mom gave a speech. all too much in my opinion. publicly berating and scolding the child. i so wanted to intervene and just say hey everything will be okay. take a moment and breathe. i did not. i sat there and cringed. the little girl served her time out in the corner away from mom and younger sibling. yes. a public timeout. i'm telling you, it was truly uncomfortable.
okay just so we're clear. it's not that i don't believe in correcting children publicly. i have four children and trust me i correct my children if they are misbehaving despite the locale. however, i do not believe in humiliating your child publicly. i can speak from experience. as a child, being corrected publicly killed my self-esteem. there's nothing worse than being publicly scolded and humiliated in front of your peers.
today as i parent, i publicly discipline my children so they are clear no matter where we are they have to be on their best behavior. i believe in being consistent with discipline so my children know my expectations. i give a verbal warning once. consequence follows (loss of something they value like playing a video game or spending time with a friend). when needed, i remove myself and said child to a more private location or i simply leave. trust me that works best - nothing like leaving the ice cream parlor because someone was not behaving. i've left a basket full of items at target because it was time to go. i realize not all situations are easy to leave, but it has worked effectively for me.
what i suggest, know your children's schedule and their ability to function in specific public dwellings. like if it's nap time, let your child nap. you and your child will be happier. and i know it's not always easy but i would never take a child with me to my doctor appointment. in my opinion, it's not fair to you or your child.
these are my crazy thoughts. my ramblings. things that are leftover in my head at the end of the day. i'm not a parenting specialist, but the recent incident obviously flustered and stayed with me. i'm a bit isolated these days so you (whoever you are reading this) well you are like my bestie at this moment sharing a cup of coffee with me listening while i vent. ah. thank you so much. i feel better already. xo
